Good Grief: Embracing Grief and the Trouble with Not Doing So

We experience grief after people who are dear to us die. Yet there are pressures to quickly “get over it” and “move on.” If we succumb to the them, the suppressed response will likely return to bite us and may be transferred across generations. That’s an evil that does not serve us. We’ll look back over 100 years to find out how and why grief became something to quickly move through. And we’ll counter that with the value and importance of grieving well. Along the way we’ll suggest ways to help a grieving friend.

Duane Fickeisen is a retired Unitarian Universalist Minister. He welcomes his grief at the loss of his wife, Judy Welles, over three years ago. He facilitates a support group for retired UU ministers and partners who have experienced the death of a partner and offered a recent class on grief and the winter holidays at First Unitarian Church in Portland, where he is a member.